Tohru's Demise
by Insane Author
Summary: "I tried to stop him." Tohru murmured to herself, "Tried to warn him. But it was too late. The car came too fast. And then, splat!" A look at what happens to people when consumed with grief. Will they ever be the same again? DISCONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I'm not back. Not really, at least. It was really hard for me to write this, but I was pumped up on Taiwanese TV shows and managed to create...something. I don't like it, except for the first sentence. I've had that sentence in my head for days, and it demanded a story to go with it. I decided to do something very different from my regular work, and I'm not sure if I succeeded. I don't know if or when I will continue this story. Let me know if you like it though, it might help me get back to my old self a little bit. I'm so tired of having writer's block.

**Disclaimer:** I'm just a poor fanfiction author who has had writer's block for several months. Take pity on me and don't sue me for copyright infringement, because really, do these sound like the original characters anyway?

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_**Tohru's Demise**_

_By InsaneAuthor_

**Chapter 1: Next**_  
_

Tohru Honda stood on the dock, pondering her own demise.

_"Kyo, wait! Please talk to me! __**KYO!**__"_

"I tried to stop him." Tohru murmured to herself, "Tried to warn him. But it was too late. The car came too fast. And then, _splat_!" She dropped one brown shoe into the water, reveling in the sound it made and laughing insanely. "He didn't want..." Her free hand went to her abdomen. "...baby..." She dropped the other shoe. "Me next."

Around Tohru's bare ankles were heavy chains, secured with padlocks and threaded through a weight in the middle. She had no intentions of resurfacing after this swim.

_Little did poor Tohru know, Kyo had been ecstatic when she told him the news. He had run into the street in surprise and excitement, not realizing what would happen to him that night. His thoughts were joyous, 'I'm going to be a father! Tohru and I, a baby. Wow. I can propose, and then we can get married and be a family. I haven't had a family for so long...I...wow.'_

"I'll be with you soon, Kyo. Baby and me. We promised that we would be together forever, remember? I promised. We promised. We'll be together again...promise." Tohru held her stomach with both hands. "I know you didn't want Baby, but he's a part of me, so he has to come along. Maybe when I see you again you'll be happier about it. I'm going to keep our promise, Kyo...I'll be there soon."

Just as she was preparing to throw herself from the dock, strong arms wrapped around Tohru's middle and pulled her from the edge. "Tohru, stop this! Think of the baby!"

Tohru turned in the firm grip, eyes wide as she whispered, "Kyo?" Her face fell when bright blond hair and blue eyes greeted her. "Momiji. Oh."

The blue eyes saddened. "I'm sorry, Tohru. He's not coming back. But please, don't do this."

She shook her head vigorously, matted locks of hair whipping quickly back and forth, hitting her in the face. "I promised Kyo. I have to be with him, Baby and me. He didn't want Baby, but when we see him again he will. Everything will be alright, you'll see."

"Tohru, he did want the Baby. I swear to you that he did. He was planning to ask you to marry him, and every time he talked about it his eyes lit up, and he started babbling about having a family with as many kids as possible. He wanted the baby. Please believe me. Don't do this." Momiji pleaded, still holding her tightly to keep her from doing something rash.

"He was going to ask me...to marry him?" She asked weakly, looking into Momiji's eyes to ensure he told her the truth.

"Yes." Momiji answered simply, changing his hold from restraint to comfort, rubbing her back gently and whispering soothing words into her ear.

XXX

After a long while, Momiji lifted Tohru with one arm beneath her knees and the other on her shoulders and carried her off the dock and onto the grassy shore. There he laid her down gently and inspected the chains around her ankles. "Tohru, where did you put the key?" He asked her, fingering the padlocks she had used.

She giggled. "Shoe." She murmured, giggling again and rubbing her belly.

He looked at her bare feet and then glanced back at the dock. "Where did you put your shoes, Tohru?" He asked gently. He was worried, but no matter what he knew he had to stay calm or she would never tell him. He looked at her bare feet again. They were turning blue.

More giggling as she told him, "Lake," and pointed.

Momiji groaned. She had thrown her shoes in the lake. That was just wonderful. "Kagura!" He called, loud enough to get her attention but soft enough that he wouldn't frighten Tohru.

The older girl came running, shocked at Tohru's appearance, and especially at the chains around her ankles. "What was she...?"

Momiji shook his head. No time to explain right now. "Stay with her. I have to get the key." With that, he pulled off his shirt, shoes, and socks and ran down the dock to dive into the lake. The water was cold, but he didn't care. He found her shoes resting at the bottom and dug in them frantically until he found the key. With just enough air left, he kicked for the surface, hard. He came up spluttering and gasping for breath, clutching a shining silver key in one hand.

Without another thought, Momiji ran up the dock towards the shore. He knelt beside Tohru, not caring if he was wet and dripping. He released the padlocks as quickly as he could with his shaking fingers and removed the chains, rubbing Tohru's feet briskly to get the blood flowing to them again. Kagura glanced at him worriedly, but he could only shake his head. He was fine, but they needed to worry about Tohru.

"Tohru." Momiji coaxed, "Can you stand? We should go back to the house." He looked up at her imploringly.

She shook her head. "Can't go back. Have to go with Kyo. Have to see him. Not much time left. Baby wants to go too...can feel it."

Tears started in Kagura's eyes as she listened, realizing just what Tohru had been planning to do. "Did you know, Tohru, that two days before he died, I went shopping with Kyo to help him pick out a ring for you? He was going to ask you to marry him, and he was so excited about starting a family with you. Don't you think that you and the baby should live so that when you see Kyo again you can tell him that you both lived happily despite the sadness in your hearts?" As Kagura finished tears spilled down her cheeks. She wiped them with the back of her hand in frustration.

Tohru shook her head once again. "Need to be with Kyo now. He misses me, wants me to be with him. Baby too. I can feel it."

Momiji sighed sadly. "Let's take her back to the house. Maybe Hatori can do something for her."

Kagura nodded in assent and allowed Momiji to pick Tohru up once more. He carried her the distance to the house easily, it seemed. Kagura didn't fail to notice the loving way he handled the pregnant girl, or the gentleness in his eyes every time he looked at her. _'It has been so many years. We are all adults now, Momiji is 22, and yet he still loves her? Will he never move on? Does he not realize that Kyo has been and always will be her world, even after his death?'_

But Momiji knew that he would never have a chance. Still, he wanted to keep Tohru close, and do everything he could for her, no matter what. Perhaps she would never return his feelings, but he wanted her to know that he loved her, and he wanted her to always be happy. As long as these things were true, he would be content.

XXX

"What happened?" Hatori asked as Momiji carried Tohru into the house. He gestured to the younger man to lay her down on a futon and hurried over to examine her.

Kagura looked down at the poor girl she had come to see as a sister. At some point on the way home she must have fallen asleep, and now she laid on the futon peacefully, breathing gently.

"She tried to kill herself. She was going to jump into the lake with a weight chained to her ankles." Momiji sounded broken as he explained.

Hatori shook his head. "I can't believe she would do that. I didn't realize just how upset she was at Kyo's death. Of course, they had a very serious relationship. I heard he was going to ask her to marry him." He sighed.

Kagura, trying to lighten the mood but failing miserably, joked, "I don't think there was anyone but Tohru herself who didn't know." The others just looked at her. "Sorry."

"Hatori, that's not all. She thought...she thought that Kyo didn't want the baby." Momiji admitted, covering his face with his hands.

Hatori's head jerked up. "What baby?"

Momiji kept his face hidden as he answered, "She's pregnant."

Hatori sat staring at him for a long moment. "Kyo knew this?"

"Yeah. She told him, and then he ran out into the street and...well, you know the rest." Momiji couldn't bear it. Tohru's most precious person had done something completely crazy and unreasonable, getting himself killed in the process, and it had broken Tohru's heart. The only thing Momiji had ever wanted was for Tohru to be happy, and it seemed that was impossible.

"I don't understand...why would he do that? No wonder she thought he didn't want it." Hatori murmured sadly.

"Don't call the baby 'it.' If Tohru hears you say that she has one of her episodes. Always say either 'the baby' or 'him.'" Kagura cautioned, kneeling beside him.

"Him?" Hatori asked incredulously. "She can't possibly be far enough along to know the sex, she's not even showing yet."

"It's not. But she keeps saying that she's sure he's a boy. What I'm most afraid of is that when he gets older he'll look exactly like Kyo and she'll be heartbroken all over again." Kagura pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her chin on them. "I hate to see her hurt."

"All of us hate to see her hurt. But I don't think there is anything we can do, aside from erasing all the memories she has of Kyo...and of us." Hatori sighed, pushing a lock of dirty, matted hair out of Tohru's face.

"We can't do that. Can you imagine if she had no memories, no one to care for her, and she didn't even know she was pregnant?" Momiji asked, finally looking up again, his eyes red-rimmed and wet.

"I know. It would hurt her. More than keeping her memories would. I guess that all we can do then is support her; be her family, because we would be if Kyo had gotten a chance to...." He trailed off without finishing the sentence.

Momiji nodded firmly. "The Sohma family is all she's got. We have to do everything we can for her."

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Gah, that was horrible, wasn't it? I wish I could write something worthwhile for ya'll, but I just...don't have the heart for it. Please review anyway, if only to tell me I suck.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter has been so long in coming. I hit a bit of a roadblock and was unsure how to continue for a while. Now I'm fairly certain where I want it to go from here and hopefully I will be able to update more frequently. I refuse to make any promises because I have a tendency to break them and disappoint people, but I will tell you that no matter what this will be finished eventually. For right now, please enjoy this lame excuse for a chapter and excuse me while I go pass out from exhaustion.

**Disclaimer:** If Fruits Basket were mine it would not have been published as quickly as it was. Count yourselves lucky.

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_**Tohru's Demise**_

_By InsaneAuthor_

**Chapter 2: Love**

Tohru woke up in a strange place. Looking around, she slowly began to recognize the room around her, though her muddled brain could not seem to place it. She sighed deeply, wondering if she had succeeded, if she was with Kyo now. For the second time that day, blond hair ruined her hopes.

Momiji walked in with a tray of food and, seeing she was awake, hurried to her side. "Tohru! How are you feeling?" he asked her, setting the tray gently down next to the futon she was currently occupying.

Tohru blinked at him as her brain caught up to what he was saying. "I feel...." A tear ran down her cheek, and she didn't continue. "Where am I?" she asked instead.

Momiji gave her a gentle smile, though inside it pained him. He told her, "You're at one of the Sohma vacation homes. Do you remember what happened before you fell asleep?" This said carefully, afraid to break her, but needing to know.

"I...the lake...shoes...splat...stop...Momiji jumped...carried...then black...." Her coherency was starting to fade again, and Momiji struggled to regain it, catching her eyes with his and placing a grounding hand on her shoulder. She was so very thin. She'd barely eaten since Kyo had died.

"That's right, Tohru. You were going to jump into the lake, and I stopped you. I carried you back here, and you fell asleep on the way. Hatori checked you over, to make sure you hadn't hurt yourself or the baby. He and Kagura are in the other room if you'd like to see them."

Tohru shook her head. "Want Kyo. Not Ha'ri...Not Ka'ra-chan. Want Kyo!" she suddenly screamed at him, pushing him away from her. Tears poured down her face, and Momiji could tell that she was not even seeing him anymore, that her grief had consumed her and left her blind to things in plain sight.

"It's alright Tohru," he murmured in a soft, caring tone, but as far from Kyo's voice as he could make it, so he wouldn't confuse her. "You don't have to see anyone if you don't want to. You need not worry about them, just focus on yourself and the baby. You should eat, for your son's sake. He needs you."

Tohru calmed a little and nodded. "For baby...food?"

Momiji helped her get the tray he had brought situated in her lap and then watched silently as she ate slowly, not seeming to taste the food, not seeming to care what she was eating anyway. Halfway through her meal, the hand holding her chopsticks just dropped, the chopsticks falling on the tray and rolling. She had tired herself out so quickly...Momiji's heart hurt for her.

The blond picked up the discarded chopsticks and used them to secure a piece of food. He held it to her mouth and she ate. In this way, he assisted her in finishing her meal.

XXX

When Momiji came out of the room with the empty tray, Kagura was waiting just outside the door. "How can you do that?" she asked him, arms crossed.

"Do what?" he replied nonchalantly, walking past her to take the tray back to the kitchen. She followed him.

"How can you care about her like that, watch over her, _feed _her, and not be heartbroken because you so obviously love her and she only has eyes for her dead boyfriend, your _cousin_." Kagura's rant ended with ragged breathing on her part and a dull shine blooming in Momiji's eyes to hide his true feelings.

"Tohru is family. I do whatever I can for family. That's all this is, and nothing more." He set the tray down in the kitchen, putting the dirty dishes in the sink and making a cup of tea to bring back to the bed-ridden girl.

"When did you get like this?" Kagura demanded, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to face her. "When did you start hiding how you feel? When did you start to look like your heart's been removed from your chest?"

Momiji shook her off, walking towards the door. Just before he left, he half-turned and without looking at her answered, "When I found out that she was having his child." With that he swept out of the room, cup of tea for Tohru in hand.

XXX

"Hatori, I'm not sure it's good for us to allow Momiji to be the only one taking care of Tohru right now. It's too hard on him, the way he loves her and just keeps quiet about it. All the light has gone out of his eyes, but he's so...I don't know, dedicated to her. Like she's the only thing in the world that matters, even before his own happiness." Kagura was sitting with Hatori in the living room. He was drinking tea, but she didn't have the stomach for anything, seeing the way the people she cared about were suffering.

"That, Kagura, is love. Real love is not a feeling, but an action. Momiji cares deeply for Tohru, and so he feels no grief doing everything in his power to make her happy. He may very well tear himself apart and wear himself thin caring for her the way he is, but he is doing it because he knows no other way to diminish her grief over losing Kyo. Perhaps he is the best thing for her right now. He is a steady presence, always by her side, protecting her and comforting her. He does not give her the illusion that Kyo is still with her. In fact he is constantly reminding her otherwise, but he does so in such a gentle way that it actually calms her. Right now, for whatever reason, Momiji is her rock, the one solid thing in the midst of a raging river that is rapidly sweeping her toward insanity."

Outside the room Tohru began to cry. She had wandered out of her bed in need of the bathroom, but she could not find her way around this unfamiliar house and did not know where Momiji was so that he could guide her. Lost, she had followed the voices of Kagura and Hatori to the living room, but had stopped just outside when she realized that they were talking about her.

Silent, Tohru wandered back to her futon. Her warm, safe futon who would never lie to her, who did not love her, who protected her without doing anything but lying there. She liked her futon.

As Tohru stumbled back to her room, she did not notice the last vestiges of her sane, conscious mind slipping away with three simple words.

"Momiji loves her."

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There you have it, ladies and gents. Please, feel free to drop me a review and let me know how much I suck, and if you want further proof check out my other stories and my livejoural, which you can find the link to on my profile.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Yes, this is an update, of sorts, but don't get too excited. This chapter is incomplete, and I'm sorry to say it will remain that way. I held onto it for too long, thinking I would get the plot back together, but the fact is that I can't, and it's time for me to stop trying. If there is anyone who is interested in adopting this story, just let me know, and I'll direct people to you. Otherwise, this is where it ends. Thank you for sticking with me up until this point, and I hope that you will read my future works, as well.

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**Tohru's Demise**

_By InsaneAuthor_

**Chapter Three: Almost**

"Are you ready for dinner, Tohru?" Momiji asked, stepping into her room with yet another tray of food. Wide, blank eyes stared up at him from her futon, and she seemed unfocused and uncomprehending. All of Momiji's warning signals went off in his head.

"Tohru? Are you alright? Did something happen?" Setting the tray aside, he focused solely on her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and gazing at her worriedly. She jerked away from him.

"No...love...Kyo!" She pushed him roughly and stood up, her legs unsteady. "NO! Go 'way! NO! No..."

Momiji could not comprehend what was wrong with her, nor did he have any idea how to help her. He knew he needed to calm her down, but he did not have any idea how to go about doing that when she was so violently opposed to his presence. Just an hour before she had been fine. She had not wanted to see anyone else, but she had been fine with him. "What did I do, Tohru? Is there any way I can fix it?"

"Don't want...M'iji bad...can't...NO!" She backed away from him. "Bad...Baby not...why? Why! Kyo! KYO!"

Momiji, at a loss for how to proceed, felt a tear roll down his cheek unbidden. He had never felt so helpless, so useless, or so unwanted.

"I was afraid this might happen." Hatori's voice. Reason, when all he could hear were the insane ramblings of his dead cousin's girlfriend. "Poor, normally sweet Tohru was far enough gone to try to commit suicide, so really it was only a matter of time until she snapped completely. We need to get her to a hospital, Momiji."

"No!" Momiji protested, dodging as Tohru started flinging random objects at him. He winced as a lamp clipped his arm. "She needs us, we can't just dump her on-"

"We will not be abandoning her," Hatori interrupted, catching a flying vase, "We will continue to be there for her, but she needs more help than we can offer her ourselves. It is imperative that we get her to someone who can." He took Momiji by the shoulder, looking him seriously in the eye. "I know that you care about her, and want to do this by yourself, but the fact is that Tohru may never be the same again, and we need to come to terms with that. She needs _help_, Momiji, more than anyone in the Sohma family can give her."

Momiji, tears in his eyes, nodded. "Alright. Help me calm her down then."

Hatori ruffled his hair, trying to smile but failing. It was hard to be happy in the face of everything they'd suffered. "It's going to be alright, Momiji. Eventually, someday, we will smile again." He glanced at Tohru. "All of us."

Momiji watched as Hatori walked up to Tohru and took her shoulders, holding her gently. "Tohru, everything is going to be alright. Would you like to go for a walk?"

Tohru stared at him blankly for a long moment, then answered in that same disjointed speech she had been using for the past several minutes. "I...walk...Kyo? Baby...good?" She looked at him hopefully.  
Not wanting to lie to her, but not able to bear braking her heart again, Hatori only answered one of her questions. "Yes, Tohru, it will be good for the baby."

This seemed to appease her, and she nodded, taking one of his hands as they slipped off her shoulders and swinging it between them as they walked toward the door.

Momiji was gone.

xXx

Kagura was in the driver's seat of the car when Hatori got Tohru outside. "Tohru, we're going to go for a little ride, alright?" he asked her.

She nodded again, following as he slipped into the back seat of the car. Kagura looked back at them and gave Hatori a questioning look. He shook his head. He knew what she was wondering, and he could not answer her question, because he had no idea where Momiji had gone. Hopefully he would not do something stupid, because they really needed to focus on Tohru right now.

Hatori was not stupid. He knew what Tohru's outburst had been about. She knew, one way or another, that Momiji was in love with her, and could not accept it because she only had eyes for her dead lover.

As Kagura drove, Tohru laid her head on Hatori's shoulder and started humming softly, seeming very happy at first, but then beginning to cry. He looked at her in alarm, not sure what to do with a crying girl on his shoulder, when he realized what song she was humming. It was in English, and it seemed to fit her circumstances fairly well. A few words spilled from her lips, and Hatori could see Kagura's eyes tearing up in the rear view mirror. "Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream."

She went back to quiet humming, and Hatori wrapped an arm around her, suddenly understanding what she was going through. It wasn't just losing Kyo that had broken her heart, it was that she would never have him again. They had been on the brink of marriage, she had just found out about the child and told him about it. They had been in the middle of something, when fate had come and cruelly taken Kyo away. Hatori knew that feeling. He also knew that right at that moment, Tohru would want to be held.

xXx

The nurses at the hospital were kind, and took Hatori aside to explain Tohru's condition while Kagura sat with the younger girl in the waiting room, cooing gently to her and stroking her back.

"Pregnant? Really?" One nurse asked him, sounding astonished. She held a clipboard, and as he spoke she was noting down important information.

Hatori nodded at her, glancing at the older nurse who stood by her side, watching over her shoulder as she wrote. "About five weeks, I believe," he confirmed, "and she insists that it is a boy, and has violent outbursts when it is mentioned otherwise."

The first nurse scribbled some more, clucking her tongue sadly. "Poor dear. No wonder she had a breakdown. I would too if my lover died running into the street after I told him I was having his child."

"Kyo is a tender subject for her as well. In moments of less clarity, she forgets that he is dead. Being reminded that he loved her and the child and that he was planning to marry her seems to placate her some. For the past few days the only one allowed to see her was our cousin Momiji, and somehow he could remind her of her loss with minimal pain to her, but she had an outburst at him this morning for reasons we do not understand, and we had no choice but to bring her here. She was endangering herself and others. I guarantee that the Sohma family will pay for whatever medical care is needed to heal her. We only want our Tohru back." Hatori stopped talking briefly, too emotional to continue. The nurse looked at him sympathetically.

"I promise we will do everything we can for her," she agreed.

Hatori glanced back over at Tohru and Kagura. "Kagura!" he scolded softly, "Don't give her junk food, it's bad for the baby!"

Kagura looked up at him with those adorable doe eyes that she had never grown out of. "But Ha-chan, she really wanted some chocolate, and...I just..."

Hatori rolled his eyes at her. "Fine. But no more," he warned, waggling his finger at her threateningly.

Beside him, the younger nurse giggled softly. "You're very protective of her, Sohma-san," she murmured.

He shook his head in an irritated fashion. "She's like a younger sister to me. I have a right to be protective."


End file.
